I know I haven't posted in a long time but many things have been put on the back burner.
I spent a week in the hospital after being bit by a cat. As a result, I have lost a little use of my hand and some feeling in the bitten finger. My hand is as improved as it will get.
I moved again and this time your "father" has no idea where I am living. My new neighbors are nice but I wish I had a home of my own.I am still working on the divorce but I refuse to let "him" rob me of everything. It will be a fair divorce or he will have to pay to fit me, tooth and nail.
I drive an old Ford truck now. I've been doing a little work on her, I call her Lexi.
You now have 13 cousins total. Gayle has 4 - Tim, Jessie, Beth & Jeremy. John has 3 - David, MacKenzie & MacKayla. Jenny has 4 - Shawn, Ryan, Andrew & Heather (born in Jan).David has 2 - Zachary & Dalton. I have 4 cats right now - Sassy, Alex, Tipper & Shadow. I also have a ferret named Belle. You can find the cats on Catster, I try to keep their pix updated.
I miss you all so much. Some days are really hard, like your birthdays. I try to find things to do to keep me busy. Some days I read but often I just go out and enjoy the beaustiful weather of spring. I even appreciate the storms we have. I can't wait for the day we can be together again. I knw we will have a lot to work through but I am confident we can get through the past together.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I haven't posted in a couple of weeks but that will never mean you are forgotten. You are all always in my heart and my thoughts. Our family has gotten slightly bigger but not the way most people would expect. It turns out I have an older brother I have never met. He was born when Gramps was barely an adult himself. He just found us last week but he said he wants to talk to all of us.
Rascal is not with me any longer. I have to work so much I didn't have time to spend taking him outside to play like he needed. But Uncle David had a friend who wanted him and now Rascal lives on a farm with lots of room to run and cows to investigate. I bet he was really confused the first time he saw a cow.
I got the appeal filed and now I am trying to decide what evidence needs to be presented and who needs to testify. I have to show that Roanoke City has failed to follow the court order and set me up to fail the parenting agreement. Even if I prove Roanoke City didn't do what they were supposed to do, that doesn't mean the judge's decision will be overturned. Unfortunately, the same standards of guilty until proven innocent don't apply in CPS cases. And even if a judge agrees you never did anything to harm your child, they can still be taken away forever.
Sometimes it seems like an impossible task, to prove you never hurt your child and get them back home. But I can't give up, what kind of parent abandons their child? Not me, never. I will fight for all 3 of you until you either come home or I am dead. And if you are not home and something happens to me, Uncle David and Aunt Jenny and everyone else will take up the job of bringing you home.
just look for me when you are grown, if I fail to change the court decision. I found your father's half brothers after it had been over 30 years since he had last seen them. And now, a brother I have never met has found us. Time is no barrier to family ties, they can always be reconnected.
Rascal is not with me any longer. I have to work so much I didn't have time to spend taking him outside to play like he needed. But Uncle David had a friend who wanted him and now Rascal lives on a farm with lots of room to run and cows to investigate. I bet he was really confused the first time he saw a cow.
I got the appeal filed and now I am trying to decide what evidence needs to be presented and who needs to testify. I have to show that Roanoke City has failed to follow the court order and set me up to fail the parenting agreement. Even if I prove Roanoke City didn't do what they were supposed to do, that doesn't mean the judge's decision will be overturned. Unfortunately, the same standards of guilty until proven innocent don't apply in CPS cases. And even if a judge agrees you never did anything to harm your child, they can still be taken away forever.
Sometimes it seems like an impossible task, to prove you never hurt your child and get them back home. But I can't give up, what kind of parent abandons their child? Not me, never. I will fight for all 3 of you until you either come home or I am dead. And if you are not home and something happens to me, Uncle David and Aunt Jenny and everyone else will take up the job of bringing you home.
just look for me when you are grown, if I fail to change the court decision. I found your father's half brothers after it had been over 30 years since he had last seen them. And now, a brother I have never met has found us. Time is no barrier to family ties, they can always be reconnected.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Happy Birthday Tiffany
Oh baby, I wish you were here right now. We'd spend the weekend with family and have a grand ole time. I sent you a card and gifts for your birthday but I don't know if you will get it. I wrote a poem just for you and put it into the card.
Remember how tiny ALex was? He is huge now and still as loving as ever. He likes to get in my lap and curl up while I pet him. Sassy is not as jealous anymore but sometimes she still wants me to herself. She still likes to get under the covers though. Most days she sleeps on your bed, with the sunshine flooding through the window it is a nice warm spot to sleep.
I wish Granny & Gramps were here. It's hard to believe they have been gone so long. I know you miss them, they loved you very much.
I will never give up on you sweetheart. No matter what anyone says, you know I love you and have never hurt you. DOn't let anyone tell you that I don't want you or that I am not a good mother. Remember how I sit up with you all night when you are sick? Or how I can comfort you when you miss Granny & Gramps? No matter what happens in the future, you are always going to be my daughter and we will be back together again someday.
Remember how tiny ALex was? He is huge now and still as loving as ever. He likes to get in my lap and curl up while I pet him. Sassy is not as jealous anymore but sometimes she still wants me to herself. She still likes to get under the covers though. Most days she sleeps on your bed, with the sunshine flooding through the window it is a nice warm spot to sleep.
I wish Granny & Gramps were here. It's hard to believe they have been gone so long. I know you miss them, they loved you very much.
I will never give up on you sweetheart. No matter what anyone says, you know I love you and have never hurt you. DOn't let anyone tell you that I don't want you or that I am not a good mother. Remember how I sit up with you all night when you are sick? Or how I can comfort you when you miss Granny & Gramps? No matter what happens in the future, you are always going to be my daughter and we will be back together again someday.
Why I'm Blogging
I decided to start blogging to help my children find me in the future. I have 2 boys in foster care in NC who can't come home because they are now a threat to other children because of abuse they suffered in the foster care system. So I wait, counting the days until they each turn 18 and can no longer be held hostage by the system that has caused them so much pain.
My oldest is Raymond Sean Weiler, DOB 08/18/1992. I remember the summer, pregnant with you. I wasn't as uncomfortable as most people expected. I remember reading to you and the way you'd kick me just as I settled down to sleep. He loves dinosaurs and has for his whole life. I sometimes pick up dinosaur items to save for when I can finally see him again. He will be learning to drive this year. I wish I was the one teaching him. I had dreamed of helping him pick his first car ever since he could walk, but even that has been stolen from us.
My middle child is Christopher Alan Weiler, DOB 12/26/1993. We spent Christmas with the family and came home for me to go into labor late at night. You were a tough one, sometimes I wonder how we managed to keep labor off long enough for you. I remember a few weeks before you were born, you had decided it was time. I spent a week at Forsyth on bed-rest and getting tests run to see if you had a good chance. The ride from Wilkes Regional in the ambulance was painful, with that medicine feeling like fire flowing through my veins. But I did it for you, so you would not be born until you had a better chance of survival. And it worked, because you got to come home from the hospital with me.
And my youngest, Tiffany Dawn Weiler, DOB 3/27/1999. You are my little princess, so proud and shy at the same time. You brighten my days with your smile, and the love we share is unbreakable. I probably spoil you a bit but I love to see the smile that lights your face when I bring a new book home for you. In some ways you are so like me, with your love of animals and books. But in others, you are a mystery, the way your moods change like the waves on the ocean.
I know there are people who believe that if your children go into foster care, you must be a horrible parent but that is not true. Not when a crooked county is involved. The caseworkers have slandered me and I can easily prove the slander and the lies but the workers still try to make me out to be a horrible person.
To my children, all these years I have fought and I refuse to give in and allow them to terminate my rights. I will always be your mother and if you search your heart, you will know the truth. I have never done anything to hurt any of you, and I would lay down my life for you. Remember what we had before foster care and you will know the truth, that the foster care system is where you were abused.
All I want is to be able to be a family again and I know we will be reunited someday. The one thing that will never change is my love for each of you.
My oldest is Raymond Sean Weiler, DOB 08/18/1992. I remember the summer, pregnant with you. I wasn't as uncomfortable as most people expected. I remember reading to you and the way you'd kick me just as I settled down to sleep. He loves dinosaurs and has for his whole life. I sometimes pick up dinosaur items to save for when I can finally see him again. He will be learning to drive this year. I wish I was the one teaching him. I had dreamed of helping him pick his first car ever since he could walk, but even that has been stolen from us.
My middle child is Christopher Alan Weiler, DOB 12/26/1993. We spent Christmas with the family and came home for me to go into labor late at night. You were a tough one, sometimes I wonder how we managed to keep labor off long enough for you. I remember a few weeks before you were born, you had decided it was time. I spent a week at Forsyth on bed-rest and getting tests run to see if you had a good chance. The ride from Wilkes Regional in the ambulance was painful, with that medicine feeling like fire flowing through my veins. But I did it for you, so you would not be born until you had a better chance of survival. And it worked, because you got to come home from the hospital with me.
And my youngest, Tiffany Dawn Weiler, DOB 3/27/1999. You are my little princess, so proud and shy at the same time. You brighten my days with your smile, and the love we share is unbreakable. I probably spoil you a bit but I love to see the smile that lights your face when I bring a new book home for you. In some ways you are so like me, with your love of animals and books. But in others, you are a mystery, the way your moods change like the waves on the ocean.
I know there are people who believe that if your children go into foster care, you must be a horrible parent but that is not true. Not when a crooked county is involved. The caseworkers have slandered me and I can easily prove the slander and the lies but the workers still try to make me out to be a horrible person.
To my children, all these years I have fought and I refuse to give in and allow them to terminate my rights. I will always be your mother and if you search your heart, you will know the truth. I have never done anything to hurt any of you, and I would lay down my life for you. Remember what we had before foster care and you will know the truth, that the foster care system is where you were abused.
All I want is to be able to be a family again and I know we will be reunited someday. The one thing that will never change is my love for each of you.
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