Why I'm Blogging

I decided to start blogging to help my children find me in the future. I have 2 boys in foster care in NC who can't come home because they are now a threat to other children because of abuse they suffered in the foster care system. So I wait, counting the days until they each turn 18 and can no longer be held hostage by the system that has caused them so much pain.

My oldest is Raymond Sean Weiler, DOB 08/18/1992. I remember the summer, pregnant with you. I wasn't as uncomfortable as most people expected. I remember reading to you and the way you'd kick me just as I settled down to sleep. He loves dinosaurs and has for his whole life. I sometimes pick up dinosaur items to save for when I can finally see him again. He will be learning to drive this year. I wish I was the one teaching him. I had dreamed of helping him pick his first car ever since he could walk, but even that has been stolen from us.

My middle child is Christopher Alan Weiler, DOB 12/26/1993. We spent Christmas with the family and came home for me to go into labor late at night. You were a tough one, sometimes I wonder how we managed to keep labor off long enough for you. I remember a few weeks before you were born, you had decided it was time. I spent a week at Forsyth on bed-rest and getting tests run to see if you had a good chance. The ride from Wilkes Regional in the ambulance was painful, with that medicine feeling like fire flowing through my veins. But I did it for you, so you would not be born until you had a better chance of survival. And it worked, because you got to come home from the hospital with me.

And my youngest, Tiffany Dawn Weiler, DOB 3/27/1999. You are my little princess, so proud and shy at the same time. You brighten my days with your smile, and the love we share is unbreakable. I probably spoil you a bit but I love to see the smile that lights your face when I bring a new book home for you. In some ways you are so like me, with your love of animals and books. But in others, you are a mystery, the way your moods change like the waves on the ocean.

I know there are people who believe that if your children go into foster care, you must be a horrible parent but that is not true. Not when a crooked county is involved. The caseworkers have slandered me and I can easily prove the slander and the lies but the workers still try to make me out to be a horrible person.

To my children, all these years I have fought and I refuse to give in and allow them to terminate my rights. I will always be your mother and if you search your heart, you will know the truth. I have never done anything to hurt any of you, and I would lay down my life for you. Remember what we had before foster care and you will know the truth, that the foster care system is where you were abused.

All I want is to be able to be a family again and I know we will be reunited someday. The one thing that will never change is my love for each of you.